Tw: self-harm (gets graphic at one point)

-I feel proud to see the bruises I make from self-harming. I feel distressed and in emotional pain before and during the self-harm and then once it’s done I feel better. But it’s not enough just to feel the pain of the action, I feel like I need to have physical proof that I did it (the bruises)-although I am very careful of where I do it so no one sees them (that is the only big thing I’m concerned about at this point). If I don’t bruise, I don’t feel satisfied, and I will resume the activity until I see results.

-I’ve self-harmed for 13 years (it started at a young age), but the frequency and severity of it has increased drastically in the last 5 years.

-When I am stressed, I will get intrusive and reoccurring dreams of cutting my legs all the way from the upper thigh to my ankles in a candy cane-like design so deep that I bleed out….

I’m sorry that it got graphic at at the end. I know this is bad, and I am in therapy to help with this. It has just been on my mind a lot lately and I needed to express it.