A while back I wrote about my ex r***** my a****** and giving me a tear. I had gone to the doctor to get treatment and he gave me a cream and some meds. I wrote that the cream made it feel like c** leaking out of me all day, just like it did when it happened (back then he came so deep inside of me that it only started to gush out once I was already walking home).

Now I think my doctor took advantage of me. The treatment was supposed to last 3 weeks but because of the feeling like he was leaking out of me 24/7 again I couldn’t do it. I stopped applying the cream a while ago. Because of that the tear came back. I went to see my doctor again and he re-examined me. The first time it was already humiliating to get up so high on the examination table and have him spread my hole to look. This time though he put my head all the way down on the table (further than the first time) and had me prop my a** up. He spread me like before and said “yes it’s the tear” and I thought it was over but then he said “hold on let me get a really good look, you know I have to make sure” and he spread me again, more and harder, put his fingers inside and ran them over the tear a few times. Then he felt around saying he needed to make sure I didn’t have something else. And I felt his thumb at the entrance of my v***** but he didn’t put it inside, he just pressed. I thought he was using it to hold and be able to move around inside but now I’m not sure. I don’t know if he was supposed to do that. I feel like the examination should have been over after he confirmed the tear, that’s where it stopped the first time. I think he just assaulted me but I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive because of what happened. Maybe I’m seeing bad things where there are none. He didn’t even use lube because he said when it’s too slippery he can’t feel a thing. And he asked me to spread my a** with my hands while he was doing it because with one of his hand inside he couldn’t spread correctly. I don’t know if he took advantage of me or not. I’ve been going to him since I was born, now I am looking back at every time he examined me. He did my very first gyno exams when I was young and still didn’t have a gynaecologist and back then I didn’t know what they were supposed to be or what to expect…