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I am a 13 year old girl and I don’t want to live anymore; I feel like everyone hates me, I’m never anyone first choice and the girl I thought I might end up best friends with introduced me to her best friend recently, I always feel judged, I’m sad and empty and angry and jelous all the time and I just want it to stop. I have austism and ADHD and I can’t figure out how to make friends and make people like me. I’m not even smart, I read all the time and try to pay attention but nothing makes any sense and I hate feeling stupid all the time. I won’t kill myself because I’m not going to put my family through that it would break my parents and then they wouldn’t look after my brother and I want to him to be happy. I don’t know what to do or how to ask for help and I just miss being happy and I hate that I keep breaking down every week, I’m tired of sobbing. I hate nearly everyone for not noticing that I’m not okay and I just want advice. Thank you.

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One of my aunts came down after my dad died to help around the house and my mother was coming in my bedroom a lot and my aunt ask her what was she doing in my bedroom so much. Well my mother told her the truth of what we were doing and she said that she wanted some too. This is the aunt I never would want to cheat on her husband and she told my mother that she wasn’t getting at home and she wanted to try me out. So my mother asked me if I wanted to give her a shot and I said yes. She dressed up very s*** and came in my room. We started slowly like kissing and very little touching. Then I put my hand on her p**** and slowly started to rub her c*** and then more and then one finger went inside her and then two. She took of her underwear and opened her legs for me and then I went down on her and her husband never did that to her amd I even rimmed her a**. She started to c** and I put my lips right over her lips and started sucking her c***. Her c** was all over my face and then she guided my c*** deep inside of her and that’s when we first did it I was f****** her and pounding her really hard I couldn’t help it she was the one that I never thought I would have s** with out of the whole family of my mom’s she was so dedicated to her husband and I knew that and I asked her if it’s okay if we keep doing this while she’s here and she said yes she wanted me to come inside of her as much as possible to get her pregnant and I asked her if the if she gets pregnant will you know it was me or somebody down here she said yes you’ll know it was somebody he just don’t know who but I want to have s** with you everyday now I’m going to be here a whole month so we’re going to f*** every single day I told her okay she wanted to have my baby and I was going to give her one and my mom kind of disagreed with that but it happened I got her pregnant and when she went back home she was pregnant with my baby but nobody ever knew except for my mom and my aunt and me she had a little baby girl and her husband thought it was his cuz they did fool around a couple of times right after me and her did so he thought it was his which is a good thing but the next time she came down the little girl wasn’t that little anymore she was already 8 years old and her mother and I did it again and she asked me if I would do the daughter too so I did I did my own daughter I ate her out I fingered her a lot just getting her ready for my c*** and I did I spent a whole day with her in my bed f****** her every which way and she loved it we fucked with the rest of the time that they were here which was 3 weeks and I fucked that little girl so much every day it was at least five times a day that we fucked and we fucked in every single room in the house and I got her pregnant at the age of 9 years old she just turned nine when she got pregnant when I got her pregnant it was her birthday down here so that was her birthday present at 9 years old.