Still honestly in a bit of a funk over the whole thing where the affair with step MIL was preplanned/my wife’s idea originally. Not to look a goft horse in the mouth I get that it sounds like what a lucky guy to be getting plenty of s** from two women and they both are fine with it. But a bit neurotic about it because now I am unsure whether the amazing sensual passionate s** with MIL was simply about her being in need of a man in her life and me simply being the easiest most low effort low risk available option. But knowing that the whole thing was my wife s idea from the get go is not a small thing either. No way to know if she was being generous and sincere to her stepmother and handing me a gift with pure motives or whether this was something my wife did to divert or lessen my s***** interest in her and her stepmother picking up the slack. I get that it sounds stupid to question it and stupid to be overanalyzing it, that I should just roll with it and be lucky and happy to be getting the s** left and right. O get that when the “affair” started that I was in the place of cheating on wife with her stepmother. No denying that. But that does not offset the secrecy deceit and manipulation. I jave spurned advanced from wife and have let other caretakers pick up the slack so that I am not around step MIL. Not super depressed or super pissed about any of it but has for now staked my s** drive right through the heart and balls. I did at least accomplish one small thing. I texted the primary caretaker who knew about the affair and told her as i promised that at least for now the “affair” with step MIL was on hold. Caretaker responded asking if it was her “fault” by talking to me about it and making me feel guilty about it and I told her no reason for any guilt or self blame because the idea/whole thing had been their idea/plan. I took the high road and did not say it s***** or negative simply that there was no reason to feel she triggered the brakes being put on it nor was she any longer the keeper of a dirty secret. She asked to talk about it and I agreed to but told her was not particularly in a hurry about it.
