5 years
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I may be a gamer, but I don’t play with hearts, that’s your game of choice, mon amour. My specialty might be beating people at their own game, but tha doesn’t mean I’d much rather have played with your hair and your b**** than your heart and your mind. See, You’re still stuck in the past. I’m the future, babe. It’s all gonna be mine, I don’t need your help to be great, I just want a climbing buddy. I need something more than what I’ve been doing. It’s not enough anymore. I’ve waited long enough. It’s time to climb. Ill leave you in the dust if I have to. I won’t beg you for the honor to pick your boots and carry your burden. I can’t save you, not the way you’re heading. You have to want it.. I won’t watch you die. I refuse. But I can’t control you, nobody can. Only you can do that, but you can’t do it alone, nobody can. I’m not hard to get ahold of, You are. I’m not the one who’s in denial, you are. I’m not the one avoiding accountability and judgement. I’m not the one who’s a slave to my own fear and addictions. I am not a slave to my madness. Are you a slave, or a warrior? It’s never too late to chart a new course. You’re entitled to grow, no matter what you’ve done. You deserve to be loved unconditionally and forgiven for your sins. You deserve peace. If I really am the source of your chaos….it’s for your own good that I leave you behind. I’ll have strength so you don’t have to. I deserve to be such better than that.

New Confession

My older sister (six yeaes older) was mybbully for years starting when i was 6. I amninsanely ticklish and the day she learned it could make me wet myself she was merciless. Our mother did nothing. My sister would hold me down and sit on me and torture me almost every day. Before i even hit puberty she brought her mean girl friends intonit at slumber parties and even at end of school dsy while i had to walk home with wet pants. One day she made me wet myself and when i was changing busted in on me mocking me anatomically. Sometimes i would suffer an involuntary erection and get mocked for that too. One day she and her friends cornered me at the local public pool held me and yanked off my trunks and i had to run to locler room naked until a lifeguard got my trunks back. The pool banned them for the rest of the summer and they followed and attacked me on the wsy home from school and held me down and stripped .lme and tickled me and ran with my clothes and i had to rin and sneak home trying to avoid being seen. A neighbor mom saw it all and cslled the police. She got dresssed down and from then on woild only try it solo at home. She would sneak into my room early morning and sit in me and wake me up tickling me with a full bladder. She was a comolete monster it did not stop until she left home for college. To this day we do not speak and are not home at same time for holidays. My mother still says i was too weak or sensitive and should get over it. To this day i am completely afraid of women and even in a medical setting cannot undress even partially around a woman.

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