I am just an ugly creepy deadbeat loser afterall. My confidence was based on lies. I am a waste of federal taxpayer’s dollars to keep alive. I am going to the casino with an e***** next month to drop 1500 dollars on the blackjack tables so I can feel like a big shot for once in my life. Maybe I can make ma some money to bury me and move to phoenix. I have no friends anymore. I am all alone. I cant go back to the way things were. I wont.