I am f***** done I’ve been fantasizing about my best friend the only relevant person to me in this world killing herself so that I have enough trauma and a legitimate reason to cut ties with everyone including this bitchass family Or for me to run over a f***** truck enough to erase all my f***** memories but not enuf to kill me . I am a s*** useless horrible f*** . My cowardice won’t let me kill myself and my morality won’t let me hurt others like they did to me eventhough I would love to smash their f***** heads against a wall