I’m 27 and I’ve never so much as kissed another person. I used the excuses of focusing on my schooling and being from a small place to make it so I never had to put myself out there. I’m slowly starting to realize that I think the reason I don’t put myself out there romantically, is that I have really bad body image issues due to my weight. However, I think I am also a little traumatized due to an experience that happened in my youth. A distant cousin was staying with my family for the night, he was in his early 30s and I was 15. We were watching a movie in my room and he kept asking if he could give me a kiss and I finally said he could give me a peck cause I was sick of him asking. I turned my head at the last moment and I’m so thankful I did because I could feel his tounge on my cheek. I can still feel it there sometimes. I told him I didn’t want to watch the movie anymore, got his bed ready, and basically barricaded myself in my room. I was so affraid of him in that moment and I felt so stupid for putting myself in that position. I never told anyone what happened and it destroyed my trust in all older men, especially family members. It’s also made me hate the idea of kissing. Now it feels like it’s too late to start dating.