Top 10
ADD CONFESSION
Distant vs Local Love : My local love told me how much he loves and adores me last night. Every time he sees me, he talks about how much he wants me to be his wife. He is kind, supportive, loving, a good friend which is the root of every great relationship. He overflows with adoration for me, esp after getting very ill. He always put me on a pedestal, but now he has a plan. I think his ex dying of CoVid and trying to get his daughter back from Cape Town shifted his focus to the true value of family. My distant long term love takes me for granted, strung me along while exploring other options, kept me waiting, expecting me to hold on to our connection when she failed to lead, strengthen or invest into us to build a tangible future together. She tries to control me by spying on my communications and social media or hold me to unrealistic expectations like I am supposed to spend my life grieving over her lack of commitment to me or us. You would expect an alpha female or male to lead a relationship but bisexual or gay gender roles are not always so clear, it depends on the personality and character of the person but it also determines the growth or demise of the connection. It just amazes me how some people never outgrow their high school, college or toxic 20’s dating habits or patterns of behavior that do not serve them or nurture healthy loving connection. Like the constant need for attention, admiration or a steady supply to flirt with from anyone in order to feel good about themselves when joy comes from within, not other people. Flirting is harmless as long as it is not disrespectful. You, however like to have other options and after 20 years of in and out behavior I know I deserve better, a dance partner in life that is comfortable in owning their bisexuality as well as consistent and reliable. I love you and will always carry a special place in my heart for you but this the year I get engaged, settle down, and build a life and home with someone I love with or without you. No more wasting time on fantasy or delusions that you will change for the better in the midst of a pandemic. I need a boo I can touch, watch movies with and have dinners and pillow talk with. I deserve someone who will be here for me and my family in all seasons and visa versa. I always hoped we would grow together to be an amazing power couple but I have to trust God has everything in Divine Order and there is someone better for me than you and years of lip service. You are the only one who will have to look in the mirror and live with your choices that kept us apart. I have every right to a beautiful life, and so I claim it. I also wish the same for you. xo
