Honestly I really need to go back to counseling because I know it’s bad to isolate myself and it’s okay to want to be with people. I don’t even know where my abandonment issues stemmed from, I just have them. Is it jealousy? I want him to be happy in the truest form it comes in, and I really think it’s without me. I feel like I bring too much negativity and he needs someone who’s as emotionally stable as he is and someone he just vibes better with. It’s fine if it’s not me. I kind of assumed right from the get go it wasn’t me. But I still love him. I’m really not ready for a relationship. I gave all the love I could ever give someone right away. That’s the price of being raised a hopeless romantic with a high libido. I really do love him. I’m just jealous of the idea that he could vibe with someone else better. Oh well. Cest la vie