It’s going to be OK. You don’t have to give in to the ugliness. Life can be beautiful, you’ve seen it before. All of this other stuff..it’s just to distract you from the pain. You must know deep down that none of it is true. Start fresh. Do it today. You can do this. Let the insanity go. Get proper help. It can get better. Yes, it’s hard! So f****** hard. But you’ve done it before and you can do it again. You can heal. Even if you fall down, get back up! You are a fighter!