This engagament to my fiancé is too long and, I’ll say it, pointless. I wish I had a baby but my partner stutters and I’m still not ready for marriage because I’m a narcissistic abuse survivor. Part of me wants to sleep around, the other part wants to get pregnant. But I don’t know with whom I really want to get pregnant by. My father passed away six months ago, I’ve been gaining weight and I’m on psychiatric meds and metformin because I have insulin resistance. My fiancé used to be a virgin before he met me, but I already had three sᴇxᴜᴀʟ partners. I cheated on my fiancé with an emotinally abusive sociopath ex-boyfriend of mine. He doesn’t know about cheating and me having multuple partners before we started a relationship. He proposed to me on my 27th birthday, out of a sudden, in public, in the presence of my late father. I said “Yes,” but now I really don’t know what to do.