I have schizophrenia, I accidentally embarrassed myself last night . I said things that should have been spoken in love. I was angry. Hurt.

I’m not embarrassed by my rational and justified pain , but I’m embarrassed.. that part of my sickness in being paranoid.. was a tiny bit revealed.

I hate that about myself and my mind !!! Hate it !!

Why can’t i feel better?? Why is it . My
Mind cleared ?? But not my fears or residual effects from trauma and paranoia. Rears it’s ugly head , from time to time . And i struggle with the nightmare that’s paranoia .

Please god , help me