I convinced myself that I was investing and at the height of the pandemic lock down, it was going well. I thought I was going to trade my way out of my efficiency apartment in someone’s basement, pay off my student loan, go out and meet people, and be an otherwise normal 49 year-old. Over the last 4 months, every time I lost, my “bets” got bigger. I was taking huge, nonsensical swings, wagering more and more each time and each time, it was for a more idiotic, garbage penny stock. I actually lost $100,000 in the blink of an eye and with that, my hope of digging myself out of my miserable existence. That’s why I drank every day. That’s why I tried to hang myself on Thanksgiving. I thought if I could make money, I could be someone, do something. I lost it all and now I REALLY have nothing. I’m just a degenerate gambler.
