i hate who am i sometimes i feel like i pretended so much that i’m actually starting to believe it i pretend to be so bold confident and up beat a social butterfly people tell me the drama and s*** and it’s more like a weight i hate my body but i have only a sliver of motivation to change it and when people comment on my wieght it makes me feel less then what i am it makes me feel like i shouldn’t have an opinion i go to a private school where everyone is white and skinny but i’m neither and there is no escape for me no one who can just listen and hear me i can’t tell my mom she just goes on these rants about how i have to be a strong black young women and that i have to prove in not like them the people my whole life is surrounded by i can’t tell my friends they won’t understand so what do i do my best friend only checks 2 of the 3 boxes and i hate feeling pittied and making other people feel bad for me and then u have the people who say they’re really fat when in society they are perfect and if they might not think that but if they think they are fat what are they thinking i am it makes me feel so sad not only do i have to get up everyday and make sure everyone is okay i never have time for just me and that fail battle of my weight, my skin colour, my own mental health, school, and feeling like i’m not able to be me in black places i’m too proper and in white places i can’t be two ghetto or i’m labeld as the ghetto black girl when in reality i’m just a freshman so much ahead of me

anyways