been with the guy who s******* assaulted me 5 years ago for about 5 months now. our anniversary was yesterday. i’ve always had issues with him, harassing me, stalking me at work, just ya know not leaving me alone. i had gone a year without talking to him until he called me one night. obviously i didn’t answer the first time so he blew my phone up. i saw him that night. he said he just wanted to talk and he would be nice but some questionably not consensual things happened again yet i’ve been with him since. he says he loves me. he tries to take care of me and buy me things. and i just don’t really know what happened. i’ve known him since i was like 15 and he’s four years older than me. was i being groomed? am i brainwashed? like stockholm? it makes me feel bad because i know he raped me but i don’t know if he knows. and i know that it doesn’t look great for me to say he raped me and then be in a relationship with him. but i never worked up the strength to call him out on it i’ve always just ghosted him when it started to bother me too much.