Somethings are not easy to forgive. I’ll try to work on it. I just don’t want this hate and poison in me. It drains me. I don’t want to be angry. I do not want to be evil in my heart and wish you pain. That doesn’t solve anything.

If i had known you were sorry (even just a drop) it would have healed my spirit. I honestly had no idea you gave a darn. I thought i was all alone in my mind and my circumstances.

I think the thing is i hated most? Was I had many expectations for you. I just expected you to be a hero. (Not that you had to rescue me). But a hero is truly honorable. I had such strong faith.

Maybe I had to lose everything in order to gain the one thing i was missing most. Knowing you were real wasn’t all bad. It taught me to be strong. I learned more about God in the destruction of my life and the miracles of god in the healing . Had it not been for you. I wouldn’t have experienced Miracle 225, so for that. I Thank you.

As for my s***** eccentricities and my s***** dysfunction, I think I’ll be okay. Healing is part of the truth of my life. I’m just thankful for the fact I am going to be alright.

You don’t have to pity me or lie or pretend to want me. I know what i look like. I have a lot more work to do. But I’m on the right track.

I hope you wil find a sense of peace in the knowing, you didn’t kill me. I survived all the abuse. I hope you will let go of your own pain. Embrace the healing that’s been waiting for you.