I don’t know what to do anymore.
It’s kind of funny… I have everything planned. My bottle of pills is full, spare alcool filled away. I even stopped talking to the people I care about so it doesn’t come as a big shock.
The only thing left now is to write my letter, but I don’t have anything to say.
I hate it all.
I want to end it all.
I have wanted it for years.
Yes, I am “getting help”, but it’s of no use, it hasn’t worked for years and now I just don’t want it anymore.
I guess the only thing really keeping me here is that I’d hate for my little brother to find me, he’s so young, and even knowledge of all the s*** of the world he still looks up to me.
Little does he know of my scars and multiple failed attempts. I can’t even get that right.
You know, I had a test today. The subject of it doesn’t really matter. But There was this one part talking about how nostalgia and remembering our past is what helps us move forward and not lose ourselves. How the f*** am I supposed to do that if my past is s***.
Funny. I’d hate to be the subject of the “school awareness” speech, but I think this is the onl thing that I am usefull for now.
F***
There is so much more I’d like to say, but yet I don’t really want to.
Idk
I’m just very tired
And I think that maybe
I have hurt enough
I have screamed enough
Fell enough
Suffocated enough
bleed enough
It’s just enough…
Don’t I at least deserve the right to leave?