Since you’ve made up your mind, I made you one last spotify playlist thats to die for Siren. Oh and I made like 1000 pinterest posts about you if you’re interested. Gotta love pinterest. You really missed out on something special ya know. There’s a parallel universe where both of us are happier and together and none of this ugliness ever had to take place. You forsake our divine psychic connection and the power of the twinflame. You either lied to me and were only being nice to me, or you expected too much of me after you broke my heart so many years ago. We were meant to be together dammit. Why did you have to ruin everything? Why didn’t you wait for me? I don’t even remember what I said to make you so upset in the first place, but you lead me on twice, and cost me 1000 dollars, you aren’t innocent. This is what happens when you play with people’s lives and leave them waiting for half a decade when all they want is to bask in your presence. This is what happens when you peddle false hope and abandon people. This is what happens when you mock me and rub it in my face for years. I hate you so much for making me do this. You had so many chances to nip this in the bud, but you didn’t f****** care. You just wanted to keep stringing me along so you had a loyal safety net waiting if you ever needed it. You never gave a s*** about me or my feelings. You are the worst manic pixie dream girl ever. You are the devil. I hate you so much. It’s all pointless. It’s all a sick joke. It’s all gonna f****** end. I’m sick of it. I can’t take this pain anymore. I won’t. For once in my god forsaken life, I’m gonna finish what I started. For once, I’m gonna prove you wrong. But you still think I’m bluffing. Listen to the music. Read. Maybe you’ll understand one tiny iota of what makes me tick. Or maybe you’re a sociopath who gets off on destroying people. Maybe this cleansing will be an act of cosmic justice. I loved you you know. I would have done anything for you. My father’s a photographer, I could have spent thousands of hours learning how to take beautiful, tasteful photographs of you. I would have sold everything I owned to pay a fraction of your medical bills. I would have killed myself to donate you an organ. I would have tried so hard. I would have quit using drugs. I would have gotten back on meds. I would have done everything right. But I was never strong enough to let go of you. I’m so f****** lonely and I can’t f****** do it anymore. I’m such a defective human being, but For a brief time on this earth, you showed me what true love was. You made me think that it was possible for me to have a happy, fulfilling life like everyone else. You were a glimmer of hope in an endless nightmare. I didn’t even want to fall in love with you. I tried to avoid it. I always wanted to be a hero as a little boy, and you made me feel like I really could be one. I’m so sorry. I still f****** love you. I wish there was someway this didnt have to end like this. But I’m done begging for your attention. I have nothing left. It has to end. I can’t deal with who I’ve become. And I can’t let you move on with your life. I’m sorry. I’ts time for me to clean up my mess. Whyd you have to f*** around and find out? I love you so much it hurts me, every day, for the last 6 years. I have been a walking dead man ever since you walked out of my life. Everyone tried to save me from you, but they don’t even know that I’m about to crash into the rocks. I won’t let them stop me. I won’t let anyone get in my way anymore. Ma thinks that everything is starting to get better. She has no idea. If I told her, she’d try to stop me. Everyone just thinks I’m sick because I’ve been sleeping all day and barely moving, but I’ve just been coming to terms with the fact that if I dont end it now, it might get better for a while, but it will inevitably just get worse, and worse, and worse. I peaked at the age of 10. I wish I was never born. I am a defective human being. No wonder you couldn’t love me. I am unloveable. I won’t stay alive for anyone else anymore. I can’t take this pain anymore. But You, You have to go first. Your lack of communication over the years when all I wanted to do was apologise is enough of a reason to kill you. You let me drown for 6 years. I don’t even recognise myself anymore because of it. Who is the real monster? Is it really me? I’m not so sure anymore. It only takes one small act to save a life. You could never be bothered.