I have no friends whatsoever

I go to a therapist every 2 weeks to talk about my problems
Im struggling hard in my personal life
Noone wants to hang out with me
Noone cares about me

All i have left is my family who think im a loser
I also have a good friend online but he is living in another country and he doesnt have a lot of time since he is working a lot
I think im bothering him
Dude wtf is wrong with me
I remember a couple years back i had so many friends and a beautiful girlfriend
And now…
Even my family doesnt truly care its sad but true
My best friend died a year ago
I still cant comprehend it
Neither can i understand it
F*** dude
Noone cares
My old friends just ran from me since im not how i used to be back then
Lonelyness is killing me slowly and i dont know what to do against it
I dont fit in with most ppl my age
Even if i try to
They still treat me like im awkward
F***