I used to be psychotic , I used to fantasize I was loved. But truth was I was very alone . I also used to play tarot games. Just to pass the time. I’m now sorta engaged , but I can’t believe I’m loved . I lost 80 pounds. But I can’t trust it. I expect him to leave and give up on me . 5 years later he seems to still like me . Love me to. Wish I could trust .