i love you. i’ll be thinking about you til the day i’m on my death bed. i found someone incredible and of course like you, he didn’t want to try. i’m okay with it though. even having people like the two of you in my life, even briefly, makes the world bearable. like yes, i can face my struggles because there IS joy out there. i at least get the satisfaction that you are alive and in this world still too love. when you are gone, and she is gone from destroying herself, there will be no one. i spend some time with a nut job even though it is mostly heartache for me. i feel like he needs me, even though most of our holding together has been due to me and he’s so lost trying so hard to be near pure destruction that would only destroy him. i do love him and he’s so smart he feels the love inside me that’s there for you. don’t ever feel abandoned by me, you’re always there still in the deepness of my heart. even they can see it.