Most relationships fail because of Men, but the real reason is lack of communication, trust, and male pride. I have been in and have seen multiple relationships and “situationships” and finally realized that men were the problem and are the reason behind relationships not progressing.

1-Lack of communication
This is by far one of the biggest problems in relationships……..but most couples “DO” communicate daily. The real problem when it comes to communication is listening! Listening to what your partner has to say, some people will be having a conversation for hours and hours and not obtain a single thread of knowledge from what their partner has said. Men are mostly to blame for this but in my experience, the reason behind this is because I always felt like I was right. I constantly tried to change my partner’s mind when it came to the relationship. As Drake said, ” I wanted things to go my way, but lately a lot of s*** been going sideways”. This almost ended my current relationship, because I wanted to control everything. I thought relationships had levels, you date for a few years, decide if you want kids, have kids, find a place together then get married. She kept trying to tell me she wasn’t ready, and I wasn’t having it. I tried to give her every excuse of why she was in the wrong and manipulate her until she was on board. I was sadly mistake, and thank God I realized this before it was too late. When I finally listened to her I was in shock, she said a phrase in particular that had me so fucked up that I cringed. During one of our conversations, she told me “You can not apply logic to love”, I am a Vice President in Risk Investment at a top bank in the US. I manage global risk daily and I struggle with applying logic and details to everything. In the past I made my wife feel like one of my business partners, at work. I push and push until I get my way, I do what is necessary so we can meet the quote. Love in a scientific or logical way can take some of the magic out of romance. Once I realized what I was doing, my relationship became delightful.

2-Trust
Trust and communication go hand and hand. Many relationships end due to trust. Trust in a relationship can become a huge mental burden due to the fact of stress. When the stress becomes too high individuals start to distance themselves. Trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Trust is a firm belief, the definition of “firm” is having a solid, almost unyielding surface or structure. Individuals in a relationship have to know that their partner has their best interest in mind. Trusting and believing in what a partner is saying is key to a successful relationship. From my experience, I failed at this, by always thinking I was right about everything. My wife and I would be having a conversation and instead of believing her I would make the conversation about me. I thought my extensive history of my past women and experiences gave me entitlement in conversation. Made me think that I knew everything, but in reality, I did not! Most men think all women are alike and if something worked with one it will work with the other. Example-Men will watch a p*** video and try the same stuff they saw in the video on their women and get upset when she doesn’t like it. This is a bad concept, especially when it comes to relationships and s**.
S** is an extreme topic and should probably be in its own section. One of the biggest mistakes in my relationship was s** trust. My wife and I dated for 10 years and I thought I knew everything about her body but I didn’t. Before I took an internal look at myself, I use to convince my wife that she likes certain things that she didn’t. We hit a point in the relationship where she didn’t want to have s** and it drove me crazy. We used to have such a crazy s** life and I would get so frustrated and ask so many questions when she said no. Why…Why…Why??? Is it me? One day she told me she just doesn’t get excited anymore about s**. She also stated that “I have turned it into a chore and took all the romance out of it”. I would have her watch my favorite pornstar for pointers and she would blow it off. I blamed her for her s***** dysfunction. I had to learn how to trust what she said, most guys think they’re s***** gurus but in reality, we’re not. One day I tried to get my wife (girlfriend at the time), to watch my favorite pornstar and she asked if she could see the laptop, which threw me off but I went with it. She made me realize so much about a video I’ve seen over 50 times. She first started by saying “p*** is fake”, but she told me to disregard that for the moment. The video is about a guy seducing a girl at a bar and taken her back to his place. She fast-forwarded the video a few times but she pointed out things such as the way the guy kissed the girl, most guys aren’t into kissing or foreplay they just want to stick it in. “Look at how the guy is caressing the girl’s body, he wants to f*** her and he wants to please her. Nothing is rushed he is taking his time, eye contact, he’s making her the center of attention. He’s lasting without trying to distract himself from the girl. He’s not asking the girl if she came after s** because he is confident in his abilities. This would be someone I want to be with. How many times have you watched this video? And we still do the same positions and motions every time we have s**. You f*** me the same way you watch p***, you’re so focused on c****** that you forget the purpose of what’s actually going on. You’re only worried about pumping your ego, not me.” I interrupted her, and said you would want to be with him? Before I could utter another word, she told me- “see, you’re not listening because your focused on the wrong thing, this is not a conversation these are my thoughts……. LISTEN”. I learned that I was really insecure but we will get to that later. Overall I learned a lot from my wife that day, which has helped me become a better man. I had to learn how to trust what she was saying and listen.

3-Male Pride

I could’ve single-handedly ruined the relationship off my pride and insecurities. I wasn’t hearing anything I didn’t like. I tried to control everything but what I didn’t realize was that I was digging myself into a deeper hole in the relationship. My wife is beautiful in her late-20s and I fear that she is going to leave me for a bigger and stronger man. She is outgoing, beautiful, and has an amazing body. She is the definition of eye candy. When she wears certain clothes I get jealous, when she talks to certain guys I get even more jealous, and I blame her for this. Why? Because the only thing I feel like I can do for her is offer her financial support, I am no different than a bank. Most men don’t realize they are insecure because they feel like they are lacking something and they aren’t confident in themselves, they blame their women for their insecurities because they won’t face them. They won’t talk to anyone about their problems either. This started a couple of years ago when we started talking about our past experiences with other people and ever since then I feel like my mind has been spinning. I didn’t feel like I compared to my wife’s past. After speaking with my wife and being honest. I was transformed.