My boyfriend ate me out and I didn’t enjoy it (every other time was fine-ish with him). I felt gross afterwards, but tried to play along anyway for him. I arrived at my father’s for the weekend and scrubbed myself down even though it had been hours since he had touched me. I brushed my teeth and threw up on purpose because it still felt like his tongue was inside my mouth. I don’t think it’s because it’s him, though. I think I’m just reliving my past trauma and having vivid memories again. I won’t tell him about this though. I just want him happy since I can’t seem to ever be.
