At times my blackmail forced oral service to the parish priest seemed to be treatment that I deserved for my own sin the previous summer. It was a condusing situation. While he was manipulating and borderline brainwashing me as well as figuratively blackmailing me, zi felt I was protecting myself from public ruin and found the survival mindset of “lf i learn how to do this and get good at it at least each time it will be over quicker”. So I logically convinced myself to acquire skill by paying attention to what he seemed to like and made him