I don’t even know how to argue that.

Look, I have self esteem. I know my class and I know my value and my worth.

Sometimes in a relationship we get twisted and I’m not saying I was an angel, words and talk are my thing, I said some pretty god damned ugly s***, never anything physical. I was real f****** ugly, and in an ugly place. It was an ugly f****** relationship. Certain things make a person feel ugly and to blame, perhaps a bad person. Me as one man fighting a hoard of people over one woman who I did have a 3 year relationship with, real life, who are dead set on not letting that happen, and s*** gets ugly, because I believe there IS something but I have like I said literally a hoard of people, who seemingly want me dead it’s so bad, so that she can be left alone with them… where she belongs…

Right or wrong, that has a tendency to make a person, me, feel like a complete p************ excuse for a human being.

They “relationship” and fighting for it, against people whose cards I can’t see, I don’t know anything about them, they know everything about me, I am just trying to lure back what I think is right fully mine, not only by changing my circumstances into those of a more attractive person, and changing myself into someone who IS NOT that guy who uses ugly words, just changing me, and not getting anything but kicked in the face daily, for years, almost a decade… That can leave a person feeling worthless, and possibly like a bad person. Like maybe you do deserve to die, and you’re not attractive at all, you feel like a s***** person. It’s almost like brainwashing or gas lighting

So when you break free from it, really break free from it, you don’t speak of it, you don’t think “poor me” you don’t think “I am a s***** person” you don’t think about it. You find new things, people, you be yourself, and before you know it, you are thinking to your self… Yeah you know what, this is real. People sense what is real, they see what your about, how you work, that you are good at what you do, they understand that your word is your word, you are competent, capable, likeable, and I can tell when people see something good in me,