I wanted to go nail my ex for two days, but the guilt and recurring thoughts changed my mind.
I love my partner. I dont want to give them any reason to doubt me. And while I’m a p************ for entertaining this notion for so long, I REALLY want to stop. I really dont want to be involved with my ex anymore.
The more I think about each of them I just get sick. Ex was a grotesque manipulative woman but has fantastic t*** and a similar s** drive to me. Partner is even better but so far away and while distant s*******, cares for me more than I deserve.

I cancelled my uber, flight, and hotel. I’ll figure out how to lie to my ex and make it go away. I need to get out of her life for sure, and this might just do it. I’d rather this than risk ruining my relationship or be blackmailed somehow.