This pandemic has been insane, especially for individuals that are in relationships. Globally in this past year there has been a 34% increase of divorce settlements from 2019 to 2020, especially amongst couples that married between 19 to 30. I am 25 years old and my husband is 26. Most of our friends that have married young are all experiencing similar issue in some form.
From the start of the pandemic in March 2020, U.S p********** sources report a 16 to 30% increase in use since March. I could definitely see a raise in p*** watching by my husband since the pandemic started, but the real issue that is threatening our marriage is that he wants to now turn p*** into reality.
In a study by pornhub two of the most popular topics this past year were ‘Threesomes and Couple swaps’. Afterwork, I would check my husband’s deleted history on his computer and it would be nothing but p***, and the videos he watched were based on these topics. Months later he would approach me with the conversation about a t********, and this is where our troubles start.
We married when I was 20 years old, I come from a large traditional family. I know basically all my cousins and my parents are very strict especially when it comes to dating. We couldn’t even move in together until we were engaged. My husband is 1 of 3 people I’ve been with s*******, and I am probably 1 of 1000 before we were married. I was really nervous about getting married in the first place for these exact reasons. I felt like I was way to young and he assured me that I was the going to be the only 1 for the rest of our lives. Now he wants to bring up a t********.
When he approached me with the idea, he started the conversation off by asking me how I felt about the marriage and I said good, and he agreed. Then he went on to ask me how I felt about our s** live and wanted to know if I wanted to spice things up. I responded how? He said by bringing another women into our bedroom. I was completely shocked because I was not expecting him to say that. Before going forward I would like to mention, men really need to change their way of thinking. Why does “spicing” up s** life alway include another women. This is so selfish, why not try last longer in bed or try more positions. No all men think the same and its stupid, and what makes them think that I would want another women kissing and touching on me. Of course if we ask if the additional person could be another man they would flip out, but this is a serious psychological issue.
Spice up our s** life??? Its honestly crazy, men look at p*** and pornstars and want us to emulate them but won’t emulate what the male pornstar actor is doing. First thing first p*** is FAKE, but what I want my husband to understand if he watches these videos the man is controlling the i********** and putting the female into these different position and moves etc. We have s** in the same 2 positions every time we have s**, he never ask me to do anything different or initiates anything and then blames me for our boring s** life. Men claim to be the alpha but when it comes time to take action they don’t know or make excuses as to why they can’t.
Anyways..to continue the conversation, once he ask me about bringing another women into our lives I responded no, and if we are going to do that we should get a divorce. “These actions are for single people”…..then he storms off and says you don’t understand, and for the next couple of months he would constantly bring up things relating to this matter, he would tell me his co-worker and his wife tried it. He also stated that he loved me and would never want a relationship with anyone but me , he just wanted to explore.
This is another mistake men make, they don’t realize that women also get tired of being in the relationship and we just want to have fun as well sometimes! We get these same feelings but if we ever brought them up it would be an issue. If we’re sacrificing how come they can’t? They just expect us to go along with what they want to do, but after realizing this. I now understand that a man’s biggest flaw is their pride.
Month after month of these conversation , I decided to give in and actually say something. I ask him, how would a t******** benefit me? He said you will be getting pleasured by 2 people instead of 1, then I said what if we added another guy to this scenario as well. You have some body for you, and ill have somebody for me. He looked at me funny and asked is that what I really wanted? Did you have someone in mind? I want to pause right here and just say do you see how defensive men get when you mention another guy, then he has the nerve to play dumb and ask me if that what I really wanted. THIS RIGHT HERE IS MANIPULATION….why would I say something if I didn’t mean it. He is trying to change my mind and sway me into believing I want to be with another women and him. Also why is he asking if I had someone in mind? The reason is he wants to size himself up against the other guy, we haven’t even made plans to do anything and he is already showing insecurities. Which is why I completely avoid talking about things like this, he is coming from a selfish place where he only gets what he wants. If you want something do it, I dont have time to manage your insecurities about when it comes to this. He is putting us in this situation.
Next-I said no to his question about having someone in mind. Then he ask me again if I was serious, which led to him asking me about what type of guy I wanted. Before answering I ask him if he was serious about doing this and he confidently said hell yes. Then I asked what is he trying to accomplished by doing this?…He says to be honest, I love you so much and I have been looking at videos, and seeing different things on the internet and I believe this can do a lot of good for us. I responded as long as I can have someone else there I am fine with it, lets do it! After this last conversation I didn’t hear anything for weeks, I had to bring the conversation up to him this time. I asked what our we going to do regarding the conversation a couple of weeks ago. Then he responds, I think you’re going to chicken out. I rarely get angry, but his last phrased pissed me off, this is another form of manipulation, he trying to make it seem like I am the problem. I said yes to his idea, and now he’s shook. I said no, I am ready, I will do it. He responds so you will f*** another man with me in the room and I said yes. He leaves the conversation at that point and said Ok let me think about this.
Its s**** to say but my husband is a coward, and a punk. He got me hype up just for him to leave the conversation no where. He spent months and months talking about something that he wanted to do and he is too afraid to do it. This pisses me off so much, he could at least built something or helped more around the house instead of wasting all his time talking about a fantasy he’s not brave enough to do. Such b*******! But I see this happen all the time, when a women finally stands up to a men they fall. Simply saying yes, can cause an intense amount of discomfort for them, and If I bring up having a t******** he would be shook even with just the women.
Men bring s*** up for know reason trying to pretend to be something their not, and its the biggest weakness in the world. Dont put yourself in a game you dont know how to play. You watch all these fake p*** videos thinking you can create these made up fantasies in real life and as soon as you get the opportunity to do so…you fold.
I sat my husband down and had a serious conversation with him about this situation and I really let him have it. I told him he was crazy. You get nervous about me going out with my girls wearing a tight dresses. What makes you think you can handle me being with another man. I hate it and its exhausting and all the effort you put in, bringing up all these scenarios and “what if”thoughts for nothing. I really thought you were serious and I was doing this for you. He says nothing. I also told him that, if you bring this up one more time, we’re doing something or I am leaving you. Gave him some of his own toxicity, now if he is man enough to say it he better be man enough to do it.
Men please stop tempting your girlfriends and wives with b******* you can’t even bring yourself todo. Stop wasting your time, energy and thoughts making up fake scenarios just to play out one of these fake p*** fantasies. P*** is fake, and these are stories and images that are suppose to get people aroused. Keep the fake away from the real, but for men reading this let take a fake p*** scene that my husband made me watch and break it down.’
A couple invites another couple over for drinks, one thing leads to another and they swap. You see how simple and fake that is? If me and my husband were in that situation he would start off excited, and he’ll be so focus on me that he would not enjoy himself. P*** is fake these scenarios are fake. Me and my husband know another couple that did this, and they actually set everything up because the husband in couple we knew was uncomfortable about the the other guys p**** size and asked his wife to leave. In p*** you don’t see stuff like this because its fake. Know yourself, love your self and stop pretending to be something your not, before you damage your thoughts, mind and relationships.
But my husband is stubborn and some people won’t find out they are hurting themselves until they actually do it! But I hope he understands if he puts that energy out there, he will be tested! I am done with playing mind games.