Some Humor:
Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to get her poor dog Rover a bone, but as she bent over, Rover drove her and gave her a bone of his own.
Heard the one about the wife who was not getting enough s** from husband? Long story short – Her doctor gave her some powder to try out and let him know how it went. Week later, wife was back at doctors to ask for some more powder, glowing cheeks and bright eyes, but before he would give her any powder, he wanted to know what happened.
Wife replied, she distracted hubby and put some powder in his food and he stopped eating, looked at her in a way he had never looked at her before, stood up, ripped the table cloth off the table, throwing the food, plates, knives and forks off the table and making a huge mess all around, the children were sitting there with their mouths open – picked her up and stood her with her back to the table, ripped off her dress bra and p****** from the front, laid her naked body and back on the table, undid his pants and gave her the best f****** of her life………
Doctor was worried he had made the powder too strong and was worried about the damage that hubby had caused – but wife said, not to worry doctor, we are not going back to that posh restaurant, ever again!!
“Female companion wanted one of these new electric Bidet’s, cost me $750 to install one just for her and I gather it washes and dries that area down there – well you know” reminds me of a joke I used to tell:-
Couple of homeless people were talking about things and one said to the other that he had snuck by the old cow in the women’s toilet and used the toilet facilities there, because they had put in new toilets and he wanted to know how they worked and what it felt like.
Said, there were 3 buttons on the wall, a Green one, a Blue one and a Red one and after he had finished, he pushed the Green one and he felt his a** being washed. Afterwards he pushed Blue button and he felt his a** being dried, but he did not feel game to push the red button and he did not know what it did.
Whereupon the other Tramp said, you distract the old cow and I’ll sneak in and try it out for myself – which they did – and sure enough, there were the buttons Green, Blue and Red – so he did his business and pushed the Green button, then the Blue button and finally the Red button and he felt a massive pain and he passed out, to find a young nurse tucking him into bed at the local hospital.
He asked what happened, why am I here? and the nurse smiled gently at him and said you pushed the red button, right and he said I did, what happened and she said that was for the Tampax Remover.
Asked my companion if there was a red button – she laughed and said NO – I’d already told her my above joke.
How to get 10 X (you decide what race) people into a small car – Take the wind and piss out of them.
Why does a Baker wear a white hat? To keep his head warm.
Got any jokes to share with us – here would be a good place to start