In the past two years, I’ve had a lot of thoughts that I would consider h*********. Bout two dildos, 2 b*** plugs… used sissy hypno stuff… used alcohol and other substances to dull my mind and make it pliable… and it worked. I used so started to fantasize about being used by men. I’ve never been attracted to men, so I don’t know where the fantasy came from. I don’t know where this emerged from… I just started by toying with the idea of a***. “They look like they’re enjoying it… maybe I will.” I’m guessing that’s where it started. Next thing I knew, I had lost all interest in anything with a v***** and I was wishing I was a girl getting pounded out by huge d***. Eventually, the addiction started to take over my life. In the moment I had realized I had genuinely lost control of my life, I quit. Threw out hundreds of dollars worth of toys, lube and paraphernalia… left it behind. Occasionally, I still think about how that felt in a nostalgic way, but then I remember the moment I turned my back on that in disgust… Disgust at how had turned my life over to that addiction. Nothing will ever own my in that way ever again. Now, I am relieved when I find myself turned on my a girl again. Because I felt very confused during that time… a testament to the power of the hypnosis I subjected myself to, perhaps. Because for that brief period, I could not get hard for anything without a d***. And now, even though I may be forever changed by the experiences I had, I know I am thinking in a way that is more true to myself, and not molded by influence of others that I subjected myself to for temporary and novelty pleasure.