T, You may ask yourself occasionally, “What did I do for him to hate me so much? Why is he still trying to hurt me years later? If he loves me, why would he try to destroy me?” The answer to those questions is simple. You abandoned me, and as long as you remain distant from me and refuse to even give me a chance to be your lover, I am going to treat you like a toy I don’t want to share and smash you to pieces. I want you so bad that I hate you for denying me. I’m true neutral, Your feelings and well being only matter to me if we’re friends or dating. If you just dropped everything and gave me a second chance to date you or at least f*** you, I wouldn’t be such an a******. In the end I guess it boils down to me being entitled and always getting what I want in the end…..EXCEPT YOU. I can’t stop objectifying your love and it has driven me mad with desire. The longer I go without getting what I want the more neurotic I become and the less I care about being a decent human being. That’s why when you sold me nudes and I found out it was on purpose I went a******. I want to touch the merchandise not stare at it. Shoulda sold me some p**** eating time instead. You know I was doing better for a couple years, then You reignited my resentful obsession with nothing more than an arcade machine and your t***, good job. You sparked a jealous rage that burns hot to this day. That’s your fault. You shoulda known better that I’m a f****** animal and I’d see your nudes and go a******. You didn’t realize how crazy I was though, and it scares the s*** out of you the depths I’d sink to to lash out at you. I guess I’m just f****** crazy and off my meds and I have no interest in treatment as long as I’m single, and you started that 6 years ago when you abandoned me. Instead of killing myself, I decided to just live my life like I was already dead. And as a walking dead man, I wish to punish the happy living. My life has not just stood still since you abandoned me, it has actively deteriorated, and I blame you for that. You spurned my apology and cost me 1/12th of my yearly income in fees so it became clear you had to be punished. Excaserbated abandonment issues with severe OCD and unresolved resentments is how people end up dead. If you really want me to stop hating you and trying to perform black magic on you every day, hook up with me or pay me double my fees, 1000 dollars. And I know you can afford it you gold digging s***. Otherwise, you’ll have an even bigger problem in a couple years once the coast is clear unless I find a girlfriend or f*** buddy before then, but good luck when I can’t stop obsessing over you. I hate obsessing over you. Its your fault I’m obsessed with you. You should have never came in to my life and toyed with my emotions. Your mother should have never come to my apartment when I wasn’t there, I expressly forbid it and if she hadn’t gone behins my back maybe she would still be alive and my apartment wouldn’t be haunted. Also, if you had started dating me like I wanted, when I wanted, she’d probably still be alive given the sequence of events. I wouldn’t have fled across the state to nurse my wounds and she wouldn’t of had a chance to STEAL those pills. To be clear, I’m NOT saying you are responsible for what happened, just pointing out the alternate timeline where we’ve been dating for 5 years is most-likely a lot less dark and depressing Your family fucked up our lives severely, threw me off the path of enlightenment I had just started to walk upon, and DAMMIT, you owe me SOMETHING for that.
“I love you so much….that is why I sometimes desire to smash you to bits!”