To: I have diagnosed OCD and anxiety and it’s so hard living with this
Me: The person who you are, is the person who you have been conditioned to be and that defines you, with the people who you spend time with (if you do) , how you dress, the shoes and hairstyle that you wear to feel comfortable and let’s say, blend in.
I want you to throw caution to the winds and buy pretty clothes which make you stand out.
You can buy “new” clothes from Opportunity Shops or Thrift Shops for very little and whatever you wear, will be accepted as yours, unless you say where you bought them from – which you simply don’t do!!
Perhaps change your hair color and cut, to expose more of your face and wear less makeup, or perhaps none at all, except for eye shadow and lipstick.
It is very attractive for you to blush or show your skin, because to a guy, you are not hiding behind a mask and neither is he and that makes you the exception to the rule and thus very attractive, because you dare to be different.
Wear a light, subtle perfume and always make sure your clothes are ironed and clean and that you are too and use “underarm” to stop any body odors from escaping you.
You are used to going to the same places and meeting the same people, so what I want you to do, is stop going to those places, but in your new clothes, go to places where nobody knows you and then you can pretend to be whoever you want, but certainly outgoing and visible, instead of in the background and invisible.
Who we are is all a pretense and when you go to somewhere where nobody knows you, there is nobody who can “call you out” and you can pretend to be the new you, until you become comfortable pretending to be this new person and after a while, that is exactly who you will be, because people see you, pigeon hole you and expect you to carry on as you do and the more you stand out, the more they will want to be with you and date you and perhaps have a life with you.
You build your own confidence and as you do, you provide yourself with good luck, to push yourself forward into a much happier life and lifestyle.
I have been where you are. I have made these changes to myself. I have discovered that other people only see what or who you pretend to be and the brighter you dress, the more you stand out and drive people of the same s**, or the opposite s** to you, because they dress and behave like you do – and well – Birds of a feather, flock together – so all you have to do is change your flock – and it is THAT easy to do!!
When you are in a group of people, join a bunch and when there is a pause in the conversation, introduce yourself, like “Hey I’m Jenny” and then give your opinion of what you think about whatever they are talking about and they will include you in their group, because we humans are social beings and you will draw interest from both sexes and just let things progress, as they do and remain included in the group for as long as you can, for your confidence building.
By the same token, if you date online, always sell yourself with your brighter picture of yourself, not the dull one and if you agree to date, always do that at a Cafe, or somewhere where you can sit down and talk to this person, “with lots of people around” and if you feel you have to escape, you can always grab your purse and say you have to go to the toilet and then leave instead.
Never meet anywhere alone, for the first few dates and never give them your address, just for your new personal safety and if you can, let someone you know, know where and who you are going out with and leave as much information about that person (including the number plate of their car, if you can memorize it, before you can write it down), get a selfie with you and them too, if you can and yours and their telephone numbers – with the person who you know and get them to give you a ring later in your “date” to confirm everything is OK with you, just to be on the safe side and to let the police know, if anything goes amiss for you.
When you go online, always have a face to face contact and if the person won’t engage you in one to one contact, where you can see them talking to you, then you probably have a Catfish and you certainly don’t want one of those – so discontinue and block all further conversations.
If you have difficulty making the changes above, then I will discuss Goal Setting and how to achieve your Goals, as the next procedure – OK?
I have your back and I am here for you, anytime you want me – OK
Richard