The past I have been isolated and alone in my apartment with nothing to do for the holiday break with the COVID lockdown in place again. During the course of the week I have been uploading s** scenes and committing self gratification in front of my computer without fully ejaculating. I only masturbated twice this week; once On Christmas Eve and again this morning when fantasizing in bed. This has become a bad habit for me and I feel I need to direct my energy to something more important than just getting s******* hyped and sitting in a chair for hours getting no where with life. I need to see a therapist and I need to arrange meetings with those that I can interact with during these unprecedented times. I don’t want to feel isolated and uncertain anymore, I want to make things in life and feel happy.