To: As a child, I was taken advantage of, s******* and emotionally, by a cousin who is five years older than me.
Me: You are trying to manage things which happened to you, when you were too young, to have the understanding from right or wrong, or to be able to give consent and now you hate yourself and your body for how other people treated you, who should have known better, but for whatever reason, did not.
You are considered to be a minor until you turn 18, so anytime before your 18th birthday, you are the victim and they are the abusers – however check for wherever you live, on the age, when you are considered to be an adult.
My LAW says that a person under the age of 18 “does not have the mental understanding or physical growth, to understand the difference between right or wrong, or be able to give consent, to s** and that is an illegal act, because you are still regarded as a minor”. Look up “The Criminal Code” for wherever you live, so we are both on the same page.
You don’t have the ability to get past what happened to you by yourself, you really need to speak with a Counselor or Psych and lay it all out, chapter, rule and verse, so that you can have expert assistance to make you better and stop you from hating yourself as you do.
If I were to give you my advice, I would suggest you buy a lined pad of writing paper and a biro and write out everything which happened to you, in detail there.
Read it over, from time to time and keep adding to it, with your fears, the way you think now and well, just about everything which upsets you, as a result of what happened to you.
There is no hurry, take your time, take as long as it takes…
Keep it private and don’t ever show it to anyone – hide it where nobody is likely to find it and literally pour your soul onto that pad, so that over time, you transfer everything in your head, onto that lined pad, so that one day, you wake up and discover you have removed all traces of these things from your mind and you are now totally free of them.
You now have a choice to make.
1) You can destroy your lined pad and everything you have written on it and tell yourself that you are ready to move on with your life, from this moment forward, without ever thinking of what was done to you and destroy your pad, tearing it up into little pieces and then flush them away, or burn them so that they are just ash.
2) You can place charges with the police (depending on your culture and where you live) and have both of these individuals punished, so they don’t get away with the physical, or emotional abuse, of anyone else and once charges are laid, you should be entitled to Criminal Injuries Compensation, certainly enough to buy you a home, in all probability – and you have your above notes to hand in, in support of your cleansing and to justify why you turned out as you did.
Finally, you will bring to the abusers, the abuse they deserve and teach them they chose the wrong person when they picked on you and JUSTICE is payback and a b**** – so win/win.
Only you can make that decision, but on the assumption you come into contact with these people from time to time, it would be a great way for that to stop happening and put the fear of God into them, whenever they see you. Right?
Be happy with your life, don’t blame yourself for the abuse that others inflicted on you and remember we only have one life and it is not for ever and we are a long time dead, so do positive and good things with your life and make a difference, is my wish for you, as I have done with mine – totally.