secondly, i’m not surprised of your misunderstandings about people like us. we’re not pure, we’re the most fallible people there are. our misgivings and screw ups are so incredibly gross sometimes that we can only laugh at ourselves and the ridiculous situations we have put ourselves in. we call it a miracle when we fall so much and God humorously flings us off somewhere, bringing us back to him, and then they call us saints. st. augustine, matthew talbot etc., past-tense losers, and we know it. we’re just people who have a solidarity about our laughable attempts to have tried to live this life on our own. i only did those things to make you understand this is who i am. the thing that if you took away, would make me cease to exist. you can distort the markings on a horse sweetie, but you could never remove her branding altogether.