To: I am struggling so hard. I keep replaying the situations in my head. I keep hearing him tell be that I am a worthless b****.
Me: He is a control freak and he is undermining your self worth so he can dominate you totally.
Leave him and if that is difficult, leave when he is at work – take your basic necessities and get out and move somewhere he won’t ever find you and start over again.
Catch a bus at random out of the State or City where you are and get off it somewhere along the route and get on another one in a different direction, or a train and get off somewhere nice and try setting up there.
Leave a note to say you have left, so the police won’t start looking for you and if there is any money laying around, or you can get your hands on, take every cent and leave him nothing, either as cash or put it into a new account you open up for yourself, that he knows nothing about and does not have access too.
If you have kids, take them with you when you go – there are shelters for women in the same situations you find yourself in and they would be worth checking out for advice and to manage temporary housing until you are on your feet again.
If he hits you, then wait until you have bruises and then report him to the police and he should get picked off and thrown into prison and once he has been removed, pack up and move on to a different state and if need be, change your surname to something else, to make finding you almost impossible.
If you stay as you are, he has won and he will eventually control you totally and treat you as he pleases because he has total power over you and he might eventually kill you, because he can.
Time. Give yourself time to become normal and not fearful any more and if you want a relationship again, never get into one you can’t get out of, if need be.
Guys are lonely and you can pick up a guy in a lonely hearts club and they will probably love you and support you, if you play your cards right – just don’t mention what happened before, as that could be a lead in for them to try the same thing with you.
If you want support, here, I will provide that to you, as I can.
I have your back and you are not alone anymore.
R