I was raised to be independent, strong willed and determined. Submissive was NOT a word in my vocabulary, and because of my mindset I do not think my husband understands me. HE DEALS WITH ME. I had to grow up really fast since I was the oldest of three, and my father was absence; it was just me and my mom. I had to basically help my mom with everything from cooking, cleaning, and getting my two younger brothers ready for bed and school. “You get the point”; So basically I was raise to do everything myself, I don’t want anybody to do anything for me because I was taught and raise to do everything myself.

My husband finds this as a turnoff! He may not admit it, but he does. He is the breadwinner in the household but that means nothing to me, I still work hard for myself. I came home the other day from work, and he wanted us to watch a movie and I told him I couldn’t because I need to change my tires. He then said “dont worry about it I will have AAA come change it tomorrow”. He is a platinum reward members and gets special perks because of it. We dont really argue we just bump heads from time to time due to our different mindsets. This night we did get into a heated discussion because I told him “NO”, I am going to change my tire instead of watching the movie. Blah Blah.. we talk, we apologize, we get over it. The good part about it is that we talked through it.

The question he keeps asking me is “Why dont I ever submit to him?”. My response is that I wasn’t brought up that way. We talk and talk and he tells me “its hard because you are the only women that doesn’t want to be taken care of, I love you but why did you get married if you dont want a partner. I am trying to help you.” This lead to an event and conversation that we struggle to come to terms with was about being submissive and our recent s***** experience, which almost turned into divorce; but we learned from it and it has help us and now we want to share with other couples.

So one day my husband comes home from work and he suggested that we do this “swingers challenge”, which requires couples to individually pick another person to have s** with. After 3 years of marriage I was confused but I went along with it. ANYWAYS we end up renting a airbnb and we all start f****** in the house. After we talked about the experience, and this is where the trouble starts. The issue he had was that I was being submissive and let this guy do things that I do not let him do.

Please leave a comment.

My thing is you cannot force someone to be submissive to you. I feel like there are certain characteristics that one must possess to bring certain traits out of you and it’s different for each person. Men will badger you and question you about your actions when they don’t give you the energy to bring out those feelings inside of you. The person I chose to have s** with ,comforted me and made me feel differently than my husband and made me feel more open to doing things. Maybe he was more strong willed or listen to me instead of questioning me. If you look at my up bringing, one will notice that I had to do a lot of things for myself. My husband comes from a more luxury lifestyle, he use to live next to DR OZ in Hoboken NJ (Basically he comes from money), and sometimes I feel like his opinions are so far off from my up bringing. He use to women doing what they need to do for money, cars, purses etc. (AKA His MoM HAHAHAHahaha).

Point is, especially for an independent women you have to be more understanding of their background. Using money solves problems but what does that say about your abilities? Can you do it yourself? Hard work means something to me. If you want me to be submissive you have to give me a reason to be.

P.s we are fine but will not be swinging again LMAO

Thoughts?