I have a 5.0 at school CuZ all of my classes are ap and I have a’s in all of them. Lately, however, I can’t say that I know what’s going on. My eating disorder has taken over my life and I can’t think anymore. I don’t understand what’s going on in ap chem and calc bc. I feel like a failure but I still have an a in both. I haven’t been paying attention in class and to be honest, I just don’t care anymore. My head is consumed with thoughts about food and my anorexia. I realized that this past week I haven’t been able to think clearly, in that I used to realize that what I’m doing to myself is harmful. Right now it’s much easier to restrict my calories and I kinda stopped caring about how sick I’m getting. I also stopped weighing myself obsessively because not weighing myself scares me out of eating over 900 calories because I don’t know what will happen if I do. I’m ruining my health and life and to be honest I can’t seem to care. I don’t think I’ll live to 18 or even 17 at this point, I dont want to tell my parents either. I feel like a failure but the 5.0 is nice. I don’t think anyone suspects how much anorexia is affecting my life at this moment of time.