I think I will probably end up becoming a serial killer some day. The first time I realized I don’t feel emotions the way others do is when my psychologist told me my grandfather died. I was in juvie, my psychologist pulled me from the line walking to the school hall. He took me back to the living unit and sat me down before telling me. My only real thought was to wonder why I had to walk all the way back to the unit. Why didn’t just tell me in line?.
My counselors kept bring it up, asking me if I needed to talk about it. I did get why they kept doing that my grandfather wasn’t the first relative to die and I had never been bothered by any of the others either.
As a teen I couldn’t help but stir up chaos whenever boredom set in. While at the state hospital I would start riots using the other patients mental health issues to get them drawn into the frenzy. Sometimes I would trick Patients into doing things that was dangerous or that would get them restrained.
I started a lot of fights and attempted to strangle 5 different people. Things have been calm for a while now but I have started fantasizing about killing people. It is obsessive thinking about how to obtain a person. I plot out how to get them hide them and kill them. I watch people on the street thinking about how I could over power them. Most of my fantasy surround suffocation or strangulation though I do sometimes imagine slowly cutting and torturing people to.
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You are not just more likely to be a serial killer but also likely to barely succeed or reach far in life and be happy. Most serial killers weren’t happy with life and not just because they killed but they were emotionally unstable. It’s not that you barely have emotions, you certainly do. It’s just that you don’t feel comfortable expressing emotions for others. But the other emotions that you will feel would be rage, sudden excitements, inability to remain calm and collected at certain times which makes you feel irritable and agitated. Psychopaths and serial killers do have emotions, but just that it’s screwed up and they are emotionally unstable which makes them fidget or constantly obsess over some thoughts wherein they feel they’re powerful or in control and such other emotions that are too low or too high at inappropriate times. I wouldn’t be surprised if you are a product of years of early exposure to and prolonged exposure to child neglect or abuse.
Very astute observations.
Goals and ambitions are healthy.
You lack a lot of what makes us truly human. It’s a form of retardation.
Serial killers are fucked up losers. Intelligent and glamorous serial killers are movie fantasies. If you think being one of them will solve your problems you’re a retard. You’re just a big fish in a small pond asshole and arethe one who will be miserable and wind up dead if you carry on. Find something better to do with your life.
You are a silly silly bitch