To: My dad is not abusive I know that, Me: My father was just like yours, except my father was a bully and he deliberately did it to scare me and my mother went along with what he did, because she used to think it was funny to see me scared. I ended up hating my father and mother for the physical (beatings) and mental abuse that they put me through, during my life with them. I left as soon as I could at 16, to live in London, they lived in Grimsby. You will be nothing like him, if that is how you choose to be. You make the choices of what drives you and how you behave, once you leave home. If you don’t want to behave like him, then don’t, just like I was nothing like my parents and I made my own life for myself and became who I wanted to be, by having an invisible mirror which I occasionally looked at myself in, to determine wherever I was failing or did not like myself and I changed myself to be how I wanted to be. We play parts in life. We can be anyone who we pretend to be and we are accepted in that play disguise, by everyone around us, because how they see us, is how we project ourselves outwardly to them and they have no memories of our past, so we become accepted for who we are, by how we behave. It takes some practice to be whoever you want to be, but once you have that template down pat, it becomes second nature to be like that, even if we think other thoughts, but don’t express them outwardly. The name of the game is to be the nicest person you want to project. Say nothing to alienate people away from you and keep your negative thoughts to yourself and only project positives, so the people you attract to you are like minded souls to what you project and how you want to be and be seen as. In life, you might have to adopt many different templates. Socialising, work, hobby time, relationships and what you want to project in each one, to get the most out of your life for you. It is called growing up and growing older and hopefully getting the formulae right, so that you are never alone, like many who write here are, having a full and happy life and living to a ripe old age…..as I am starting to be…….and don’t make the mistake which kills you and be thankful for your good fortune in being born at all and always remember we are a long time dead, so make the most of your life in the most positive ways possible, for you and nothing like your father at all – it is after all, your choice and not his or anybody else’s. You don’t like your parent’s templates, which they could change if they wanted too and they have become accustomed to being like, but that does not make it right from your perspective, nor should it be, but it is easy to fall into a particular perspective and sometimes hard to change, especially as we become settled and more comfortable in our ways, as we get older.
Best Wishes……………..
