To: I do everything she wants to do. Me: Most people are like that. After a while they think you think the same way they do, or you are too weak willed to argue with their logic.
If you don’t make a stand for what you want to do, or what you want to watch, who is going to do that for you.
Try saying, “we watched what you wanted to watch and now we are going to watch something I want to watch” , or “we went where you wanted to go, now it’s my turn, this time we are going where I want to go”.
Be forceful, don’t ask her permission. You have made a decision now, that is what we are going to do.
If she says but, I don’t want to do that, say it’s an equal partnership and we both should have a choice in it.
First her choice, then yours and so on, turn and turn about and if she still argues with you, say we have a problem here and we need to address it – “why do you think I should only do whatever you want and never anything I want”, bring the issue to a head, but don’t lose your temper, keep things cool and if you find you are losing it – leave the room and cool off, before you bring up the subject again.
Don’t let it lie there and fester. Bring it up again and carry on where you left off, until you get a result, whatever that might be.
Once she tells you why she thinks what she wants applies to you as well, then you have a handle on the issue and you can move forward, knowing if you want to continue in that scenario or not and you will be in a much better place to decide what is best for you in the future and with relation to your kids.
I don’t see that as being a problem with your relationship, or losing your kids – but if you don’t try to make change, then change won’t happen and you will get more and more frustrated in your relationship, which will have side effects on you and that relationship, which won’t help anyone.
You could always ask “what is important to you, our relationship and me in it, or you on your own, without me”, but I’d keep that for the worst possible scenario and only use it if all else fails and I’m sure she will back down long before this argument becomes a possibility – no one wants to lose that thing they are comfortable in, or who and what, makes that possible – you.
Good Luck..
