I just turned 42 and still never had a girlfriend. Any standards I once had have been beaten out of me after a lifetime of rejection. At this point, I’d date literally anyone who would have me. Literally. Anyone. I’m perfectly OK with someone 30 years older than myself, someone with no education, someone 200 pounds heavier, someone whose views and values are radically different than mine, a drug addict, someone in a wheelchair (I’m able bodied and enjoy physical/outdoor activities), someone whose all of the above, or even ANOTHER GUY even though I’m no more sexually/romantically attracted to men than any of the women I described above. That’s no exaggeration. At my most desperate, I was going to the gay bar every weekend but still got rejected due to my physical appearance. I would willingly let another man ram his dick up my asshole just to have the luxury of being wanted or desired in any way at all. I am so damn fed up with people who assume men in my position are single because “our standards are too high” or that we’re “expecting too much”.
When I was young, people said I should lower my standards. So I did. Still got rejected. Lowered my standards even more. STILL got rejected. Lowered my standards yet MORE. By the time I hit 30, I had no more standards left. Then people said I was single because I didn’t have ENOUGH standards. That’s such bullshit! The reality is, people knew why I was single, but were too afraid to tell the truth because they thought it would reflect badly on them. It took me decades of rejection just to figure out what they already knew. I’m 5’0, started balding rapidly before age 20, have obvious facial deformities and my voice is a full octave higher than the average man.
By the time most of you read this, I will have already blown my ugly ass, worthless head off with the shotgun, which I purchased earlier this week solely for this purpose. I can’t take this anymore. People don’t understand what people in my position go through, not because they can’t, but because they don’t want to. That would be too problematic.