• 2 weeks ago
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my first love was back in 2012. i was sure he’s the one im gonna marry until he left with no warning at all. now i have a long term relationship. then my first love resurfaced. the funny thing is, and i also hate it, that i feel as if nothing has changed. us, how i feel about him. it’s like how we were before. we kissed and all, but i didnt have sex with him. i mean i badly want to, but i guess my mind’s is stronger, reminding me that that’d be a whole new level of cheating. i cannot do it. tho i really want to. i fantasize about him, and somehow feel that i wanna get back together with him. but i know that it’s not gonna happen. i know him. he doesn’t love me the way i do for him. i know that for him, im just another woman whom he can fuck. and its sad. and i cant do it to my partner as well. but fuck. i really want him. i stopped talking to him now. i just need to share this cos im tempted to text him now, and i shouldnt. and i just miss him so much. like i missee him all my life. but therw are just things in life that arent meant to be. thats us. 🙁

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