Long Post:
My confession won’t be too liked, but I need to say it. I have been a sex offender counselor for the past ten years, and here are some recommendations if a sex offender ever moves into your community:
1. Simply be kind. Period. It makes these men feel like they belong and aren’t automatically hated, which in turn can lead to confidence and deter future crime. They are diverse and are interesting to talk to after they get comfortable. Be the neighbor who takes him a pie or cake to welcome him to the community rather than those who condemn him and spread notifications that his very being there is unwanted. It makes him feel unwanted and no one wants to feel that way. Do not feed rumors or say hateful things or threaten him with bodily harm or property damage.
2. Invite him to dinners, neighborhood functions, barbecues, church events. The more social interaction he has, the more good he is going to feel. I had a client who said he got a hug from a neighbor. It was his first hug by anybody in 4, yes 4, years. He cried tears of joy afterwards at that litle human contact gesture. Once you get to know your a sex offender, offer them a hug. Write them a birthday card or even throw them a birthday party or dinner. If you feel any romantic feelings with one, don’t hold it from him. Most of my clients are absolutely terrified to initiate any kind of romantic contact for fear of being thought of as someone who wants sex all the time. Yes, they all have sexual feelings. Everyone does. If they get the courage to ask for a date, do not humiliate them, even if you do not want the date; let him down kindly. For example, I hear a lot of clients say women reply with, “Who would want to date you? You are a nobody.”
3. Support their efforts to improve themselves. Do not belittle their ideas, whether it be aspirations for a college education, a job, or opening a business. I had a very intelligent, 20 year old client. He got accepted to M.I.T., one of the most prestigious colleges. He was so happy, showing me his acceptance lettter. He was glowing. A few days later, he got his rejection letter from that college due to the fact he was on the sex offender registry. Two days later, he was dead of suicide. He was studying medical research and disease genetics. He told me he was determined to find a cure for cance in memory of his little sister who died from cancer at the age of 10. What if he would have succeeded? Also, never encourage anyone to committ suicide because of their past. You might tell a sex offender online to kill himself, but would you do it if they were sitting next to you, crying, just wanting (or privately praying) someone would hug and love them?
Sex offenders are human, please treat them like that. Most just want a second chance at a good life. I do believe if neighbors and communites made them feel welcome, they would thrive and never do another sex crime with appropriate counseling, social support, and love.
All Comments
Got out of here you pedo!!!
Not all sex offenders are pedos you stupid fuck
Tell this to the media. They want them publicly hung
And condone suicide in there cases! They are the sick ones. Tell your local tv station to stop demonizing them.
This feels like bait, but you put some work into it so here’s your attention.
hmm if you are a sex offender councilor and you arent just making this up, tell me.
im a 21 year old man who is sexually attracted to exclusively prepubescent girls. i have semi-frequent access to young girls through family and work. one of which you could even say im in love with. nobody knows that i have sexual desires and fantasys about these girls and most would trust me enough to leave me alone with them for long stretches of time. im on the most part extremely sexually frustrated using child porn i get off the internet to satiate myself. but sometimes it is hard to control myself and at times i think my mind could go blank and i think i could force myself on one of these girls if i had the opportunity.
how should i go about preventing myself from doing anything to these girls? and should i tell the people around me about this even though it could destroy the trust and relationships ive made, might even cost me my job.
also how should i try coping with the soul-crushing loneliness that comes with having no partner. there is no way to have a partner with someone i would be sexually attracted to, and nobody would stay with me if im not sexually attracted to them and couldnt do anything sexual with them. def couldnt get a gilrfriend even a fake one if any of this came out anyway so give me your thoughts?
I’m not the councilor but I can suggest something. I personally believe that most sexual harm occurs as a result of being disconnected with our own humanity and values. Before you dare do anything to a girl, don’t just simply think about the harm you might cause to her, think about what has caused you to lose control over yourself and just think reflect about these things:
Respect
Integrity
Morality
Safety
Freedom
Appreciation
Love
Also, I want you to think about why you are exclusively attracted to young girls. Why do you think that is? Did someone ever harm you as a young child? Do you have trouble finding a willing adult partner?
Do you work with children, if it would cost you your job? I would say the best thing you could do right now is to avoid any contact with children, change jobs if it includes frequent contact with children. Never be alone with a child. Maybe you could switch over to watching adult porn and see if that helps. Do whatever measures you think are appropriate for you to not harm a child that way. Look at my previous post about where to find a counselor.
I would be willing to talk to you anytime through this thread. I want to help you- please feel free to write to me any time, day or night. I’m here to listen to you.
I would get yourself a local psychologist. You can call a local hospital and ask to speak to the referral department and ask them to help you find a therapist who deals with sexual issues. There are also psychcentral**** therapy listing and the American Psychological Association. From the APA website go from Home/Psychology Help Center/Find a Psychologist. You could also call your health insurance company and ask for psychology referrals, if you want your insurance to pay. However, if you have the means or find a psychologist that offers sliding scale fees, you could pay in cash and give a fake name. That would also keep your annonymity. But I’m begging you, whatever you do, please get help from a professional as soon as possible. There are a lot of resources out there. Sexual abuse of young girls irreparbly harms them. I mainly deal with males who hve raped other adult women and those that have molested or statutory rape.
the long past gives some crediants that you are who you say you are. but even still, in case this website tracks ip and the such im using the tor network to write this.