• 2 weeks ago
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I have fantasies of being the best im everything. Call it narcissism or what but I like it. I am secretly jealous to people who can do everything. I’m hungry for knowledge and I wish to know how to do everything.

One more thing, I don’t like my parents. I don’t know why but I recall that since childhood, my mother would beat me up if I ‘act’ dumb in my schoolwork which lead to me despising her. My dad, well, is an alcoholic and I find him yucky.

My sis beats me, too. I became numb from the experiences that I don’t care anymore. I just want to drill in their skulls that I can do everything but how if I don’t have the means of financial support?

I wish I have money, get away from them and live a new life, even fake my own death and live under a constructed identity. Finding work in this country is hard just to tell you.

All Comments

  • You are a perfectionist. And that perfectionism will hurt you, not help you, unless you get some professional help on how to deal with it.

    And my God, even without the perfectionism you’ve got a lot of trauma to work through. None of it is your fault, either. PLEASE go see a therapist.

    Anonymous December 6, 2018 4:14 pm Reply

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