I have never really had a true friend, I have some family but I’ve never had someone love me, who wasn’t, for want of a better word, obligated to. I… think that I have spent most of my life trying to stay busy enough, to distract myself so that I would have an excuse not to care. Reading stories about love, like the ones on this website. The truth is that as much as I like being by myself, I really wish I had that kind of love.
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You need to join a group with similar interests to meet friends and find love
I started volunteering for a battered women’s shelter and working with their free tutoring for the children of battered women – including girls who have been subject of sexual violence
One of the teenage girls who had been sexually molested became very attached to me
I probably fostered that attachment by flirting with her inappropriately while I had been drinking
Now I have a damaged goods teenage girl that wants to drop out of school and run away with me anywhere and she is practically begging me to do it
I had started this community service as part of a court ordered mandate after my third DWI when I totaled another car and got put on probation – the only reason I’m not in jail is because I spent a ton of money on a lawyer and he made the first DWI into a traffic offense
My wife left me because I can’t get my drinking under control – because I’m
An alcoholic and have been for a decade now
It’s parhetic- so I can’t stop myself from drinking
Because I feel so alone
I live in this tiny one bedroom apartment because it’s all i can afford right now
After I got fired from my other job
I had to take a shit job just to try to get by
But it gives me more time to volunteer at the battered women’s shelter
Some people think a 39’year old man should not be secretly dating a 15, almost 16 year old kinda trailer trashy girl who had previously been subjected to sexual molestation
But I’m treating her right and taking care of her and we haven’t had sex yet
Her mom is also an alcoholic and close to my age and her former step dad gets raging violent – I think her real dad was a meth head maybe?
I haven’t asked who violated her or how
For now – I’m just happy to have the company of a young woman who adores me