I hate how I don’t feel good or awesome even after I’ve won so many awards in my academic results. I love learning and I know what I want to learn. My parents aren’t strict or demanding. They don’t give me any expectations to achieve. The school gives me certificates and teachers praise me, I feel happy for one moment but after a while I have that empty feeling again. I wish I could be easily pleased like some other kids, they could be so happy for the whole day with just a passing grade but I on the other hand, don’t feel upset nor happy. To me my grades are just my grades. If they’re good I feel okay. If they’re not that good I feel okay too. I need to feel the ‘high’ of achieving something again n. I miss that feeling. When I tell people I don’t care about my grades it’s true. I really love learning. And I want to learn what I want. But teachers will keep giving me expectations and goals, they will say things like I’m such a good student I should keep working hard to maintain my score. Bit honestly I work hard because I’m genuinely interested in that subject and knowledge, not because I want a bloody certificate from the school or some merit certificate. Why can’t people understand. I learn because I have to get that ‘high’ that happy feeling of learning something. I don’t care about what other people think. But people want me to. It’s so annoying.

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