• 6 years ago
  • 392 Views

My husband and I know things about his brother in law that would upend the whole family. A few years ago my husband (we will call him G) caught his brother in law (D), unbeknownst to him, cheating on his sister, (S). This person was D’s brother’s girlfriend’s mother. G told me but we both decided it was better for everyone else not to find out. It would have, and still would, destroy his sister’s life if she knew exactly what kind of person her husband was.
G and I both know what D is worthless. He has several “medical issues” that prevent him from working, but he doesn’t try to get assistance and milks the pain to get out of doing anything, while S works her a** off for their three kids and him, working 12 hour shifts and still having to come home to a trashed house and cook dinner and clean and care for the kids. D treats her like garbage with verbal abuse and threats to beat her, and the kids not much better, and the kids are turning into demons because of it. My mother in law gives them everything they ask for because they’re months behind on all their bills because they can’t keep up with only her working, and their combined spending habits. It would hurt her, and send her spiraling, to know just how awful D is to her daughter. Part of me keeps it to myself because I don’t want to have to listen to all the crying because I won’t feel bad about it.
Recently a neighbor accused D of saying inappropriate things to his wife, which D denied vehemently, and then disappeared for several hours. S was crying so hard because he was gone and was angry someone would accuse her husband of these things, because “it was just D being D, he means nothing by it. He’s only joking”. G and I again kept quiet because we knew that D did say those things, and made inappropriate advances. He has done so to me on many occasions. One of their other female neighbors spends all day with D and they will smoke pot together. S was suspicious of it, but they both denied anything was going on. But I suspect there really is something going on there. He hides things from her constantly and really is a pos.
One day things are just going to explode and it’s going to be ugly. It’s so sad to see S kill herself for D and he does nothing for her, except just enough to keep the wool over her eyes so she stays. Their relationship is the 2nd most toxic I’ve ever, personally, seen, the other being G’s other sister and her husband.

All Comments

  • I think that they should get away from eachother. Try to make S understand that it is not ok, it is abuse. I know this sounds stereotypical, and you have probably tried before, but just really press that. She is deciding to ignore how bad he is. S needs to get it through that she deserves so much better and should leave D, while keeping child custody. She seems like a good person in a bad spot. Try your best to get her out of that spot. Sorry if I am unhelpful, just my opinionated advice.

    Anonymous June 10, 2018 3:36 am Reply
    • Ok I feel like an idiot after re reading that. I think you should tell your step mom. She needs to know how bad he is. She really does.

      Anonymous June 10, 2018 3:41 am Reply
  • Things never end well for guys like that

    Anonymous June 10, 2018 3:40 am Reply
  • Go ahead and upend the family

    Anonymous June 10, 2018 4:05 am Reply
  • I have said to S several times, by putting bugs in her ear that what he does is abuse and is not ok, and for a while she agrees but he says things to her that make her stay because oh this time will be better. Of course it never is.
    I think mom in law kinda sees how awful he is because earlier tonight she told me if she finds out about any infidelity she will take him out.

    Anonymous June 10, 2018 4:08 am Reply

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