i was offered s** last night.. normally i would’ve not even considered it.. but at some point i must say it was painful to turn down.. not because of him.. because of you.. my desire for you.. burning bright.. i was exhausted and drunk.. and when my eyes closed a bit i could so easily get lost and imagine you.. his beard.. i feel like i’ve been alone forever.. craving caresses.. but i would’ve never in ANY circumstances EVER have taken my clothes off.. NEVER would’ve let him penetrate me.. ever. at this point im not even sure you’d be hurt.. but i know i would be. people seem to take s** so lightly these days.. im not sure where you stand anymore.. all these faceless words.. i waited and searched all this time for love.. and finally fell inlove it’s madness.. there is no way i could offer myself to another. none. i am faithful to my heart.. even if love doesn’t want me. we did snuggle.. i regret it, even though it felt good.. it felt wrong.. im really not used to human contact.. people snuggle all the time, right? yet i feel no one else should be that close to me.. im no one else’s toy.. and this while you were having a rough night.. im sorry love.. i wish i could be there for with you.. why are we still so far apart?
yours.