I’m not suicidal, truly not at all. But I just don’t feel like I’m meant to live a very long life. I’ve never been very good at realistically imagining a future for myself and can’t really see myself being anything other than what I am right now. I feel like because of this, I keep making…not stupid decisions, but decisions that aren’t super realistic for the average life. I just can’t imagine myself living long enough for it to matter, so I just kinda do the things that I want to right now.